Tough Mudder taser… I mean, teaser.
That’s me. Fifty feet from the finish line.
After racing 11.3 miles up to the tip top of Squaw Valley and back – over, under and through twenty-three military-style obstacles – I’m finally just fifty feet from the finish line. Fifty!
But far from feeling exhilarated, I’m standing, shivering, frozen by fear. For there’s one last obstacle that stands between the free beer and me, and it’s called “Electroshock Therapy.”
A field of live wires dangles before me like jellyfish tentacles. Only rather than strike me with venom, some of these strands pack a 10,000-volt punch. I don’t (yet) know what that feels like exactly, but if the reactions of those who charged in ahead of me are any indication – like the guy that faceplanted in the mud after looking like he took a mortar to the leg – 10,000 volts is going to hurt a whole heck of a lot.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Thanks for your patience. I promise I’m not being coy. I really do want to share with you the humorous horrors of that afternoon… as well as the days and weeks leading up to it. In fact, I’m writing the story now. It’s funny. And I hope you get to read it in a magazine or newspaper. But if not, maybe I’ll create a snappy iPad app like I did for this amazing shark diving adventure. (Which, of course, I encourage all you iPadders to BUY NOW!) Or maybe I’ll see if the kind folks at Byliner would like to offer this as a “Byliner Original” for your favorite e-reader. OR… if all else fails, maybe I’ll just offer it as a PDF on this site. One way or another, I’ll soon deliver a spit-up-funny read.