I kicked off my publishing career in 2003 by copping to chronic bedwetting in Jane, and followed that up with an essay about crying during a Dove self-esteem commercial. And in late 2011 – just as I fell into investigative journalism – The New York Times Styles section published a confessional essay about my sweaty pits.

You could say that modesty – at least of the TMI kind – isn’t in my toolkit.

That said, I still cringe when I reflect upon my assorted shortcomings.

Especially on nights like tonight when I unexpectedly stumble upon a shoebox full of old photos and am smacked with THIS…

That’s me at a middle school dance, “feeling it” profusely sweating. It would appear as though I ‘Walked Like and Egyptian’ and/or did “The Worm” a bit too much, and these poor beauties are paying the price.

Unfortunately for the one on the right – my avowed “dream girl” from grades three thru high school -  this wasn’t the only time I’d drench her…

Years later, when we were freshmen at Boston College, I peed her bed. (You can read about it in my “It Happened to Me” essay for Jane. She’s “Abby Hewitt.”) And though she transferred to another college – in another state – shortly thereafter, I like to believe there was no correlation.

#CRINGE

Journalist Stan Grossfeld takes Tough Mudder CEO Will Dean to task in The Boston Globe. The 2x Pulitzer Prize winner published two very different stories about the obstacle race company. Both are great, but as you can imagine, I’m partial to the one that repeatedly references my investigative feature for Outside.

Here’s a link.

A couple months back, a Stanford MBA student emailed to say he’d sat in on a presentation by Tough Mudder co-founders Will Dean and Guy Livingstone. Tough Mudder was the focus of a business school Case Study, and Will and Guy were invited to speak about the company’s (seemingly) overnight success. Unfortunately for them, several of the MBAs were familiar with my work and – during the Q&A – “peppered them with questions about the company’s ethics.”

Things like: “We read this story in Outside and it seems like there’s a significant disconnect between how you’ve presented yourself and how you actually act.”

(What I would have paid to be a fly on that wall.)

I suggested that it’d be fun to give some kind of follow-up. He agreed, asked the business school’s Outdoor Adventures Club to sponsor an event, and… voila!

While I don’t know what this event will be just yet, I’m pretty sure I won’t be wearing this getup.

I think this time I’ll make a tee shirt.

Let ‘em take that boat, Mr. Mouse. Your plane is coming.

Not only has rising star photographer/3x Tough Guy champ/freshly-single stud, James Appleton…

…snapped scores of fantastic,

utterly memeable PORTRAITS of Mr. Mouse,

…we camped in “The Killing Fields” our first night.

Not in the tent, but on the cargo netting… 40′ up.

It was like the world’s biggest hammock.

And the following day… we even ran the course at a leisurely pace. (Thanks James!)

(Which is to say that this time around I skipped enough ice water obstacles to avoid hypothermia.)

Oh, and thanks to a new obstacle Mr. Mouse is testing – one that simulates IEDs and involves copious amounts of TNT – the police arrived just 20 minutes after James and I. (The neighbors had called to complain… something about “explosions” on the farm.)

But far more importantly, Mr. Mouse has opened up to me like never before.

We’ve had a complicated relationship since I first reached out to him 18 months ago. Especially after my cover story hit newsstands. (Explanation… someday.)  But during this 2nd visit our dynamic has changed. Tonight, for instance, I sat at his kitchen table until almost 4AM as he shared – with unbelievable lucidity – too many holyfuckingshit stories to count. Tales from his life before Tough Guy. Some funny, some tragic, some so wild I thought no way until he produced documents to prove it.

Here’s a business card from the early 70s, when he was a renowned (if not wildly eccentric) Wolverhampton hairdresser.

(Yes, those are boobies. And yes, that’s him. Though it was just a smart publicity stunt. No naked girls actually worked there, though many men showed up in hopes of seeing them.)

Here’s a Superman stunt to promote his horse sanctuary in ’78…

And here’s Mr. Mouse at the starting line of the Wolverhampton Marathon in ’85 (an event he organized).

It’s almost inconceivable to think the $250+ million dollar industry he pioneered isn’t even the most interesting fold in his life’s accordion, and yet I’m fairly certain it pales in comparison to some of the shit I heard tonight.

Which brings me to this…

After a year and a half of interviews and two visits to his farm, I’m pretty sure he’s one of the most extraordinary character I’ve ever come across. Here’s a visionary who was decades ahead of his time and then, faster than you can say ‘Facebook’ – whoosh! – the world whipped past, rendering him an anachronism at best, irrelevant at worst. But I’m dedicated to changing the narrative.

Mr. Mouse is not just a once-in-a-generation character… he’s once-in-a-wormhole. He’s the kind of figure that usually only surfaces in fantastic works of fiction. Or Daniel Day Lewis movies. And somehow – by luck or kismet – he’s entrusted me with exclusive rights to his outrageous life story. I’m looking forward to synthesizing his (iridescent) existence for you. What form – and how long – that takes will soon be announced.

Buckle up…

Stay tuned…

And please, if you like what you’ve read, please share this post.

This isn’t me. (Thank God.) But as you’ll see in this humor essay for Bike Monkey, it has been… all too often.

I haven’t met him, but from what I hear (and see), he’s a character.  He’s also a devout Christian who’s having the Easter of his life. 

(Note: To my friends who thought I had a good iPhone story: mine was batshit crazy decent. His is magic.)

Happy Easter, Rodrigo!

According to race organizers:

The Rave Run was founded in 2012 by a runner, an artist and an insomniac. The idea was to bring the adrenaline pumping music and special effects from electronic festivals onto a 5K course. The dazzling light effects are designed by EDC artists and industry experts. It’s like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory except with lights. It’s candy for your eyes and ears. It’s a glow run…gone wild! Get ready for the night of your life. Experience a magical world of light and sound unlike anything else out there.

I must admit, I’m already a bit wary as they’re using photos from other events to promote theirs.

I could be wrong, but this one…

…looks a hell of a lot like Austin Trail of Lights.

SO I ask… how much of the course will feature dazzling lights and sounds?

Will it be “a nocturnal wonderland”, or will runners have to fend for themselves on a dark, dangerous route filled with potholes?

Will there be any water stations? If so, will there be water at them?

How long will we have to wait in traffic… in registration lines?

Unfortunately, these are the kinds of questions we have to ask these days. Just yesterday…

So I ask, is the Rave Run the next Neon Run? Will thousands leave feeling swindled? OR… will they invest the necessary resources to deliver on what they’re promising? Time will tell. For the sake of the industry – and one of my weekend nights in May – I hope it’s amazing. I’ll report back.

In the meantime, consider liking Obstacle Racing Magazine.